Prioritizing Progress Over Perfection

Challenging ourselves to achieve goals can feel so gratifying. Still, when we prioritize high standards and perfection over self-compassion, we can experience symptoms of perfectionism and begin to feel defeated. While it’s normal to strive to do our best, focusing on perfection can hinder our progress toward our goals. When we aim for perfection, we limit our creativity and miss opportunities to learn from our mistakes. The fear of failing or missing the mark can incite a sense of dread that causes us to procrastinate or avoid our project entirely. 

Many people who identify as perfectionists can recall feeling judged by others or inadequate in their academic achievements, work performance, or appearance. When we attach our worth to our accomplishments and performance, we hyperfocus on the parts we don’t get right. Focusing on our limitations often causes us to miss our strengths and resources. So how can we shift our focus from perfection to progress to reach our personal best?

Recognize the signs

Often, we create goals that we believe will make us feel more fulfilled in life. When you struggle with perfectionism, you might experience difficulty getting started or feel stuck once you reach a certain point. Whether your goal is to work out more, complete a professional certification, or focus more on self-care, if you are experiencing a sense of dread, you might avoid the goal entirely. 

It might be helpful to divide your goal or project into smaller, more approachable steps. Dissecting your process will allow you more opportunities to learn what works best for you and adjust as needed. Completing smaller steps can also help you feel encouraged as you work toward the larger goal. 

Ask for help

Seeking support can sometimes feel uncomfortable. You might feel like you are making excuses, giving up, or failing if you ask for help. 

I am here to tell you that’s not true. The vulnerability you might experience in asking for support can help you connect more authentically with your friends, colleagues, and loved ones. 

Feeling connected can improve your confidence and help you feel more encouraged to ask for feedback in real-time. Thoughtful feedback allows you to recognize new possibilities and achieve more positive outcomes earlier in your endeavors. Once you communicate areas where you need assistance, additional support enables you to hone your approach and focus on your tasks with renewed confidence and creativity.  

Recognize your worth

Small or big mistakes create opportunities for you to learn more about yourself and adapt your approach. When you isolate and scrutinize your imperfections, you lose self-compassion and might use self-deprecating words like lazy or stupid. Recognize that your worth is not contingent on your achievements. 

There are several ways to develop self-esteem, but one question I like to ask is, “what would you tell your best friend?” If your best friend called and shared that they missed their workout, would you call them lazy, would you body-shame them, would you tell them that they’ll never achieve their goal? My guess is no. One step you can take today is talking to yourself the way you speak to your best friend, and your inner-self will appreciate it. 

Next Steps

Challenging perfectionism takes time. We did not develop our thought patterns overnight, but you do not have to challenge these negative thoughts alone or all at once. Therapy allows us to work through the experiences that have shaped our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. By identifying your unique experiences and triggers, therapy can help you develop a healthy approach to reframe limiting beliefs and strengthen your human potential.