Couples Therapy: Online Vs. In-Person
We’re living in unprecedented times, the Covid-19 pandemic brought stress, uncertainty, and likely strained some of our intimate relationships. Couples experiencing relationship issues may be seeking out the services of professional counselors, licensed and licensed marriage and family therapists. Due to safety precautions, the traditional therapy model of face-to-face interaction has been harder to find. Many clients and practitioners are uneasy about the shift to virtual services. Typically when people think about a couples therapy session, they envision sitting on a couch next to their partner and across from a therapist. With the dawn of virtual services a couples therapy session may look like sitting with your partner at home and across from your therapist on a screen.
Now what?
You want to improve your relationship and you made the decision to find a relationship therapist. That’s great! The next decision that needs to be made is if you will be seeing your relationship therapist in person or via an online platform. Let’s take a closer look at downfalls and positives of in-person and online relationship counseling:
Online Couples Therapy
There are a multitude of practitioners who are offering online couples counseling. Online therapy platforms allow licensed therapists to truly meet the couple wherever they are.
Potential downfalls:
You may be in your own home with distractions present. Some couples have children, pets, or roommates that could interrupt the session. If you do decide to pursue online therapy it would be helpful to carve out a time when you think your home environment will be as peaceful as possible.
Some people may feel less connected to their therapist through a screen compared to in person therapy. You may be in an emotionally charged conversation with your partner and not be able to feel the therapist's presence. It could be easier to talk over or ignore the therapist during counseling sessions when they’re only on your screen.
The therapist loses out on observing the full body language of each person and of the couple as a unit. Non-verbal cues such as foot tapping, fidgeting, or proximity to the other partner, can be an important component of a session. They, however, are less easily observed online.
Potential positives:
When you’re engaging in online therapy, no one has to worry about a commute. There are always time constraints especially when there are two people’s schedules to work around. The ability to log onto therapy from wherever you are decreases the likelihood you’ll drop out of treatment due to external factors.
Online therapy platforms allow the therapist to see your facial expressions in an even clearer manner. I know from personal experience conducting online couples therapy that I was able to be more attuned to each partner’s facial expressions online.
You have more options to make you and your partner more comfortable in the session. The two of you could be in the same room or you can join from separate devices and locations. This can be really useful for those in long distance relationships. If you do live together, being in your home environment may allow you to more easily remember and explore daily frustrations in your relationship.
In-Person Therapy
There are some couples and marriage therapists opening their doors to in-person sessions once again. Meeting in person tends to be perceived as more traditional and some people may feel more engaged in the physical space of the therapy room.
Potential downfalls:
In-person therapy may be harder to schedule due to commute considerations. It may be impossible for the two of you to make it to a therapist’s office during a shared lunch break but an online session during that time would be feasible.
The couple may feel more uncomfortable in an office, especially if one or both members of the couple is reluctant to engage. It may be difficult to open up about hardships in your relationship and the setting could cause some people to avoid coming to session. There may be less barrier to entry if the person or people can log on from a comfortable setting.
One or both partners may work late or be more resistant to going somewhere to engage in therapy. The couple may end services due to transportation or timing issues when they know treatment would be beneficial.
Potential positives:
In-person therapy is more traditional, you go somewhere that gets you out of your typical environment which can be helpful in focusing on the work during the session.
The therapist can see your body language and how you interact with one another outside of your home setting. There is a certain energy in the therapy room that can be lost online.
No need to say “you’re muted” or “I lost connection for a minute, what did you say?” when you're in person with your therapist. I’ve had more than a few online couples sessions interrupted by poor internet connection. While this is not the end of the world, it does interrupt the flow of the session.
Takeway:
If your relationship is suffering, an intervention from a professional could be useful virtually or in person. You know yourself and your relationship best; it's up to you and your partner’s personal preferences. Good news is we have evidence based support showing that online couples therapy has the same potential to be effective as in-person couples therapy. Couples/marriage therapy can be life-changing for some. Don’t be afraid to reach out and choose whichever medium makes you and your partner feel comfortable.
