Creating Connection During Times of Transition
For many, the unofficial end of summer can feel like a new year. This time of year can feel particularly chaotic and disjointed for families. As individual family members focus on their immediate goals and needs, it is not uncommon for couples, parents, and families to feel disconnected and curious about how to navigate the changes ahead. Whether you are preparing for a busy season in the office, ushering your pre-schooler into the classroom for the first time, or perusing Target for dorm essentials, this time of year can hold big feelings of excitement and also feelings of nervousness and uncertainty.
In therapy, we often use these transitions to reflect on and normalize our feelings, identify what changes we are looking forward to, and name any worries we are also experiencing. Changes in our routine can often trigger feelings of anxiety, making it more difficult to plan, organize, and complete even simple tasks for ourselves and our families. When we are mindful, we are able to recognize our patterns and explore new ways of approaching new and familiar situations.
So, how do you offer your loved ones a sense of calm and stability during periods of change, especially when you aren’t quite sure what to expect? Below are some tools to help yourself feel more grounded and reduce stress in your household as your family prepares for change.
Name your feelings and observations.
When we reflect on and identify our emotions, we can better understand ourselves and gain perspective. When we recognize feeling restless, sleepy, or annoyed, we can express ourselves more clearly and consider solutions to cope more effectively. Modeling this self-awareness can foster a supportive environment where your loved ones feel safe and encouraged to share their feelings. Open communication reduces feelings of shame and increases feelings of understanding and validation, which allows us to feel more connected.
Limit stressful news
Part of feeling prepared for change means knowing what is happening in the world. However, during periods of high anxiety, we are more likely to check out of our bodies and the stress that is looming in our homes and distract ourselves with news that worsens already-existing feelings of overwhelm, sadness, and worry. Consider instead setting time limits and identifying days or times of day when you take breaks from social media and news outlets.
Volunteer Together
Adding something to your family’s busy schedule might feel counterproductive, but volunteering at your local park or stocking shelves at your local food pantry can strengthen your sense of connection. During periods of transition and uncertainty, completing a project can increase dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure, reward, and motivation. So the next time your family feels stuck, consider engaging in something purposeful together. Also, remember that volunteers are often needed year-round, not just during the holidays.
Create a Family Calendar
Whether you use a physical or virtual calendar, encourage all family members to keep a shared list of events, appointments, and deadlines. This not only prepares everyone for the weeks ahead but also allows for opportunities to connect about upcoming events, openly communicate needs, and ask for help, support, and/or encouragement.
Create Daily Rituals for Morning and Nighttime routines.
Creating a simple but daily ritual for morning and nighttime routines takes the guesswork out of simple everyday tasks like getting dressed, brushing teeth, and eating breakfast. Even as our daily schedules change, knowing how we start and end each day can offer a sense of normalcy and predictability that helps us feel more balanced and calm.
Using seasons of uncertainty and navigating unexpected events can feel lonely and frustrating; creating routines that remind us to communicate and check in with our loved ones helps us mediate symptoms of stress and anxiety. As you consider incorporating routines, limits, and activities that help your family feel more connected, remember that these tools aim to provide a sense of control and predictability. They offer a framework for stability, but if you notice that you are feeling more pressured and rigid, talk to your therapist and loved ones to identify coping tools that best align with your needs.
