Is It Resistance or Is It Just Not For Me?
Are you experiencing resistance or does something just not resonate with you?
In a world where social media infiltrates our world in such a major way, it is easy to lose sight of why we are not like others that we like and follow. The celebrated “rise and grind” culture has taken the world by storm and can easily take us from knowing who we are and how we naturally function, to a place where we question or doubt ourselves and strive to live a life more like the ones we see others living.
It is so common that we question and compare ourselves to our friends or influencers who seem to be living the “dream life”. Whether it be a display of a healthy lifestyle full of routines, HIIT workouts and green juices or one full of friends, travel and endless amounts of shopping.
If this isn’t you- you may begin to wonder, why am I so resistant to creating this routine or lifestyle for myself? I should fight through the resistance and I will be able to achieve this! Right?
Maybe, but maybe not! Resistance is a refusal to accept or comply with something; the attempt to prevent something by action or argument.
Instead of immediately giving into our urge to fight through our resistance, it is important to understand why it exists in the first place. Once we are able to see our resistance for what it is, we can then make an informed choice to work through it or change our course of action.
So why does resistance exist, when we believe that through the hedges we see a beautiful, and fulfilling life waiting for us on the other side?
While this is not an exhaustive list, a few key things come to mind:
Protection
Fear of Failure
Values
Your Unique Makeup
Protection: We may not feel safe engaging in a routine or change right now. You may be in a life stage or transition that makes this type of commitment to a new routine or action challenging or even impossible. Our life stage, work, obligations, relationships and current insecurities or anxieties influence our capacity to act. When things feel aligned, we are more easily able to charge ahead, shift and change our ways. When we find that we are meeting change with a lot of resistance, we may just not be ready to move forward. If this resonates with you, try staying put and think about ways to nourish your body and mind.
Fear of Failure: We may think back to a time where we have tried a new routine or commitment like this before and failed to keep it up or see it come to fruition. We may be so desperate to change our lives in a major way because we recognize our feelings of unhappiness, that the pressure of it all immobilizes us. Instead of thinking about the big picture changes, it may be helpful to identify some small steps you feel comfortable taking or trying out. Dip your toe in the water before jumping in!
Values: We may be conditioned to believe that a routine or lifestyle created by someone else will be helpful or feel good for us too. But if our core values don’t align with the person you are striving to be like, we can find ourselves fighting too much to fit a square peg into a round hole. You have made choices throughout your life that influence where you are at now. Some choices are intentional and others are subtle, but they all lead back to your set of values. You may be facing some resistance to building a life you see others living out, because your deep values just simply don’t align with that of the other person. It is important to note here that while we may see something that we want or envy, our unique set of values may lead us elsewhere.
Lastly but maybe most importantly:
Your Unique Makeup: Similar to your values, we all have a natural makeup, body chemistry and state of being. Talk about resistance! Many people find that accepting themselves for who they truly are is extremely challenging!
You may be an early riser who loves to workout or you may be a late sleeper who enjoys a calming cup of tea. Our society does not always encourage us to embrace our natural time clocks, our natural weight, interests and capabilities. So no wonder so many anxieties arise when we don't fit into the norm or now with social media- what is trendy.
The sooner we accept ourselves for where we naturally lean and nourish ourselves in the ways that work for us, the better equipped we will be to make positive changes in our lives AND appreciate the lives we are currently living.
Key Takeaway: Next time you feel yourself questioning why something feels so hard for you, sense resistance or start to doubt yourself- ask yourself this: is this resistance or is this just not for me?